Misconceptions About Prison Life

The Visiting Room

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© Artwork by
Wade Aikins
Series of teardrops
created for Family
Awareness Project
(an advocacy group
for families of inmates
in 1994. Refering URL

There was a long period of time when I didn’t get to see my husband, from the time they took him to prison it was almost two months before I could talk to him again. It had been seven months since I had been able to hug him or even hold his hand. Can you imagine that? A loved one completely taken from you for that amount of time. I was lucky -- for many the separation is even longer and this is all before they are even taken to prison.

The process to be allowed to see your loved one is not short nor is it easy. The visiting applications must be turned in to a counselor, who doesn’t counsel by the way, he will then leave it on his or her desk until he or she feels like passing it along to the next person who will run a background check on you. If you have a criminal record you will not be allowed in, bad influence on the residents I guess. After they finally see your not wanted for anything they will allow you to visit. but they won’t necessarily tell you you are allowed to visit. You must call and call and call to find out.

Visiting differs from state to state and prison to prison. It’s never comfortable. Generally it’s something like this. Parking lot, random searches of your vehicle, anything not fastened to the car is not allowed, no cameras, no recording devices, no guns, no ammo, no alcohol or drugs, no dead bodies. Good thing I left mine at home that day. Park wait for the little tram to come get you , it will drive you to the entrance, only a few hundred yards away but you are not allowed to walk. [Comment and discuss this article on the PhenomenalWomen.com forum: "Misconceptions About Prison Life."]

Register, wait until it’s your turn to pass through the metal detector. Cram into a small glass room about four feet by eight feet. They will pack as many people as they can into that little room before closing the door, you get to know your neighbors fast believe me. When they close one door the other will open.

You get on the bus, sometimes you must wait until the drug dog has sniffed you before you can continue. Top ten embarrassing moment, try having the drug dog take an avid interest in your shoes for no apparent reason. Then on camera and in front of every visitor standing near and those waiting for you on the bus, you must remove your shoes so the officer can thoroughly inspect them.

You get on the bus drive to the unit your inmate is at give your id and visiting slip to the desk officer, wait wait wait wait. . . . finally your loved one comes out. You may hug and kiss once. Then your visit continues at one table under the ever watchful eyes of the officers. You eat over priced food from vending machines. It’s often moldy or soggy. The only thing to drink is usually soda. If your inmate must go to the restroom he must be patted down first. If you wish to go to the restroom you must wait for the officer to unlock the door for you, if he’s around, otherwise too bad.

At the end of the day you may hug and kiss once then you leave, through the gates then home knowing you’ve left something behind and can do nothing about it. You drive home with a sense of loss and sadness that cannot be fully explained in words. cont.